Safari symptoms

It came to me over an ellie - well not literally, but I was looking at it and it occured to me that really this was what life should be all about.

I watched them walking, interacting as a social group, behaving simply, as they should - and I wondered how life got s complicated.

The grind of daily life exists in every species, but the companionship, the closeness, the touch of a trunk, is sometimes miles away from us.

Many people, including myself, life in isolation. In a silo (a great work expression), operating and interacting in fits and starts. Never truly connected.

And why...fear, or rejection, of boredom, or reliance. This is not a problem for ellies. They act as a group. Connected as one. Supportive, close knit and truly beautiful to behold.

I made a vow over the ellies to lose the fear. To interact, to find someone to join my gang. To act as a group, or at least a pair with someone. I am no longer alone, I am reaching out. And if I lose touch...

I always have the ellies.

Miss happy go lucky

The mystery deepened. How was it that everything that had once seemed so easy now seemed so hard. Confidence wanes, companionship is hard to find, boundaries blur. It's very difficult to know where one stands in life. Ultimately it's alone, by myself, no one to rely on. Why is this? Of my own making, of habit, of genetics, of mistrust and sadness.

To find someone who gets you, wants you and doesn't smother you is the million dollar question. Take it, examine it, analyse it, and learn. Be open. Don't be afraid any longer, take it on the chin and stop being so scared to live the dream.

You still live in fear, cower in corners and take refuge in solitude. Why are you so ashamed of admitting who you are. What difference normality. Take on the world, discover it, discover yourself, and let it free.

Too many excuses, too hard to change, too scared to change. new life, it can be done. Push the sadness away and take strength from those who have gone before you. D not follow them. Life it short and depression is wasted on the living. Be joyful and seek out those you can be joyful with. Draw new boundaries, bigger circles, higher peaks. Ask for help, but help yourself also. Admit defeat in some areas and move on. Move away and stop dwelling. Make new connections and keep trying. Skip, run, sing. Stop being afraid. Make music, eat, make love, be creative, never stop dreaming. Push away cynicism.

Look at where you are going. No one can make the journey but you. You learn hard lessons. Make it easy on yourself. Immerse yourself in the light of life and skip through it gladly.

The day I realised I was middle class

It came on all of a sudden.
Not like a lurking cold, or a tingling sore, but like a clean break.
The sort you might sustain by falling down the stairs.

It was the van drivers fault.
Damn him.
There I was walking my eco-friendly way to work and he struck.
All the kids stared, the communters stared, I stared.

That was the day my veggie box delivery guy beeped me.

Poet and don't I know it

Sometimes I think it might be quite easy being a poet.
All you need is fragments of words, phrases, you don't even have to finish it
It can be abstract, make no sense.
It doesn't matter.

The image is put across without the need for chapters.
Without too much rhyme or reason.
Really...without too much rhyme.
They don't have too anymore.
All that effort of a prize winning school girls poem about Croydon water tower.
It mentioned flower - and power - amongst over things.

The poet I would most like to be my mum Jackie Kay, makes me want to speak my poems in a sing song Glaswegian voice.
But I can nae do it ken, and not even a wee dram of whisky will help that South London drawl.
I'm quite fond of it though really.